Feelings...
Thoughts kill,
This is personal, and i'm not even sure why i am going to post this, maybe to clear the air, for myself.
My brother, wants the best for me... but, he doesn't know what i want, he doesn't understand what makes me tick, why i do things, why i live, what makes me get up each morning... i don't expect him too, although it would be nice, were best friends... i think, only one person in my entire life, has ever known me, REALLY, known me... looked past my words, my thoughts, my actions, saw me entirely for who i am, and what i offer...
Well one person isn't good enough for me, i mean it is, if that one person was for you, Best friends, is where that ends. I wish i was able to explain myself, why i live, breath.. one word comes to mind, cliche as it may be, Love. God's Love, my Love, Others Love. Although, it is one word, I cannot live like it is just a word...
I have a problem, I pour myself into everything I do, a few people in life told me that is not a problem, its glorious... I grew up believing that, but the voice of the many more who warned me, pain is down that road.. Those voices are starting to change me..
People, are unreliable, I'm starting to see that more and more, everyone with there own agendas, own lives... I think the reason that bothers me, is cause we lose sight of God's creation, his body, the church, his people.. we don't LOVE all the saints, we miss the lesser in our own eyes, we have our friends, we have our respected peers, what about the boy down a couple pews who doesn't have any friends, or the girl who feels like no one knows her, or understands her... I don't know about you, but i know I've felt both ways before, and even though it might be an exaggeration, its still feelings, that go unnoticed.. i know when I've been there, all i needed was a hug, which 98% of the time never came. it hurts...
I guess what i'm saying is, it sucks, being me, and no ones notices... it seems, to be noticed, to be noticed by women, or a certain woman, i have to be someone different than i am, the only woman who has ever gotten to know me well, loved how i was, and im confidant EVERY girl would, but girls don't want a "nice" guy, or whatever, they want something different now, but regret that later.. i guess thats why nice guys finish last.
Labels: lthou
posted by Something About Nothing. @ 7:35 PM
5 Comments
5 Comments:
The truth is I just wanna be Loved, that's all..
Just be who you are. Cause that's how God made you, and He delights in you. You're His beloved and He loves you more than life itself. Jesus looks at you and is joyful and He loves you in your weakness.
And as you learn to live in His Love, He'll change you to be more like himself, cause if you try to change youself to who you think you should be, doesn't it feel fake? And if the whole world rejects us, except God, is that not enough?
But if you live in His Love, and Joy, it is the most awesome thing in the world because it is so freeing. You have already been accepted. You don't have to strive for anything. And when we realize that, then loving the lesser people is so much easier. Because if you know the Love of Christ for yourself, you know the Love that God has for that person.
So wake up everyday and know that God loves you and has accepted you. And when you feel like someone is rejecting you, and you feel like you haven't done enough so you will be accepted, just stop and think. Think about how deeply God loves you. And accepts you.
God's love is awesome. Theses lyrics pretty much say exactly what He feels about you.
Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
Give me your life
Lust and the lies
The past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from me
You're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me
It's a mystery
Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
I'm the giver of life
I'll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh come running home to me
Well you've been a mistress, my wife
Chasing lovers that won't satisfy
Won't you let me make you my bride
You will drink of my lips
And you'll taste new life
You're my beloved
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
And it binds you to me
It's a mystery
It's a mystery
Wow, that is an awesome song!
thanks for the encouraging post! it really means alot that you would take time out of your day and post a comment, I am taking to heart, what you said, and I pray everyday that God opens my heart to Him, more and more.
Yeah, when I first heard that song, I listened to it like 20 times in one day. It's awesome.
And you're welcome. The stuff you said is stuff that I've been dealing with for pretty much my whole life, but then Jesus came and is setting me free from it all, so I just had to share.
Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever.
"forgiven, beloved, hidden in Christ, made in the image of the giver of life. righteous and holy, born and remade, accepted and worthy this is our new name. This is who we are now. "
Jason Gray, I Am New (his music is awesome too, btw, along with Tenth Avenue North and their song Beloved)
love tenth avenue north!
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